Better Not Love Me Read online

  "Good, I thought it was just me," Amelia said, laughing.

  * * *

  Amelia stood on the deck and flipped the burgers on the grill, enjoying the smoke from the meat drifting into her nose. She'd seasoned the ground beef with basil and diced peppers, a trick she'd learned to give a plain old burger a gourmet flavor. The kids were due back any minute for dinner. Amy had set the table and was placing several salads and side dishes out for the meal. It was way more food than the family could eat, but that just meant they would have leftovers for a few days.

  The door to the deck opened and out wandered Marcus and Susanna.

  "Hey, Aunt Amy," Marcus said.

  She hugged him, but then pulled back and touched his face.

  "What happened to you?" she asked. Examining his puffy right eye, as Amelia rushed over to do the same.

  Susanna replied on his behalf.

  "He got into a fight," Susanna said.

  "Would you shut up about it?" he snapped at her. "It wasn't a big deal."

  Now he had his mom's full attention too.

  "So getting into a fight isn't a big deal?" she asked.

  "I got elbowed while we were playing basketball. It's no big deal. I didn't get into a fight. Susanna wasn't even there."

  "I know what I saw," she said.

  "Just shut up already," he spat the words at her.

  "OK, let’s take it down a notch," Amelia said. "Marcus, you don’t need to talk to your sister that way and don't think you're going to get out of fully explaining what happened. Right now, let's just get some ice on there so it doesn't swell more."

  "I didn't get into a fight."

  "OK, OK," Amelia said, raising her hands in mock surrender. She didn't want to argue. "Go inside and get some ice."

  "Fine," he said, then headed for the kitchen followed by his aunt.

  Now it was just Amelia and Susanna on the deck.

  "What happened?" Amelia asked.

  "It was just like before," Susanna recalled. "They were playing pick-up basketball games all day and then all of the sudden someone pushes him to the ground. He got up and bumped chests with the guy. I couldn't hear what they were saying. Then the guy hauls off and punches him in the face."

  "For no reason?" she asked.

  "I don't know who the guy was. I'm not sure."

  Trouble had a way of finding Marcus. He'd been suspended from high school twice for fighting. He'd been on academic probation for skipping classes and now this is the second time he had come back from the park at City Beach with a black eye this summer.

  "I think we might need to limit these park visits," Amelia said, knowing this would be an unwelcome change.

  "Mom, no," Susanna pleaded. "That means that I can’t go. He's my ride."

  "Well, I'd prefer that he come home in one piece and I don’t care if that means he has to stay locked up here all summer."

  "That's not fair," Susanna said.

  "No, it's not," she said. "Now go tell your cousin that dinner is ready. She's in her room."

  Amelia could tell that she wanted to debate more, but the thought of seeing Priscilla was more important at that moment.

  "OK, fine," she said, skipping off the deck, not hiding her excitement at all.

  Amelia placed the burgers on a plate and set them on the table. She had hoped that getting Marcus away from his school friends would help curb his troublemaking ways. But now she wasn't sure what would help. And she didn’t want to call Josh to ask for his advice either. That would invite him into the isolation of the summer cabin—a place she did not want Josh to be. Amelia needed to figure out what to do with Marcus on her own.

  Chapter 3

  Every Fourth of July the City of Coeur d'Alene would host a fireworks display on the lake, shot from a barge anchored near downtown. While the show could be seen from just about anywhere near City Beach, the best place to view it was from the water. Hundreds of boats would sit idle in the deep water to celebrate Independence Day. Amelia had never been on the water during the show, but she was looking forward to doing that this year. She had contacted a local marina and rented a boat for the holiday weekend. She'd planned on surprising the family this morning with the news. They could cruise around the lake and then watch the fireworks from the water with hundreds of other spectators. She was excited and hoped the boating activities would shift the decidedly dreary mood at the cabin.

  For the last few days she received the silent treatment from both Marcus and Susanna after she prohibited them from visiting the park at City Beach for a week. She wasn't sure if this was going to do them any good, but she had to take some sort of action to tell Marcus that getting into fistfights wasn't OK. Susanna was just collateral damage and she moped around the cabin staring at her phone in protest. To make it worse, the cabin didn't have a strong Wi-Fi signal. Susanna compared this travesty to living in an internment camp.

  "Yeah, when Japanese-Americans were rounded up and forced into those camps, their biggest complaint was the lack of reliable Wi-Fi," Amelia said to a blank stare from Susanna.

  Although in the back of her mind, she was glad that her daughter knew some history and what an internment camp was. Apparently she had learned a little something in school.

  This morning she brewed a pot of coffee, poured herself and Amy each a cup and found a spot under the early morning sun.

  "It's going to be hot today," Amy said. "In the 90s."

  "That sounds good," Amelia said, as a door slammed inside the cabin. "We need to enjoy this weather while we can, it seems like it can turn in minutes around here."

  Amelia motioned toward the cabin, indicating that she was referring to the kids and their attitudes. A storm was always brewing.

  "So what's the plan for tonight?" Amy asked.

  Amelia had not yet told Amy about renting the boat, but it had yet to arrive and she wanted to make sure everything was in order before she shared the news.

  "I think we can pull the chairs out on the dock and watch the fireworks from there," she offered.

  "OK," Amy said, but she really didn't sound that interested. She had something else on her mind. "Say, Susanna said something last night when we were playing that board game and I wanted to ask you about it, but I don't want to come off as an intrusive big sister."

  "You're about 40 years too late for that."

  "You're hilarious," Amy replied. "She mentioned a woman and it sounded like she was Josh's girlfriend or they'd seen each other enough that the kids knew her. I wasn't sure if you knew."

  Amelia didn't know that Josh had a new girlfriend. The thought of her ex-husband dating someone made her insides churn. She'd dealt with these emotions before. As far apart as she and Josh were on so many things, Amelia still bristled at the idea of him with someone else. They had been divorced for years, but it still hurt. There was ostensibly no relationship between the two of them aside from the children and the mere fact that they were once married shouldn't change anything. At least she kept telling herself that.

  "He's free to date whoever he wishes," Amelia replied.

  "It's that easy, huh?"

  "What do you mean?" Amelia asked.

  "You two have been on again, off again for more than 20 years. And you're perfectly fine with him dating someone?"

  "Are you his defender now? That's new."

  "Not by a long shot," Amy said. "I just want to make sure that he's actually gone for good. I don't want to see you get hurt again. I know after what happen to Edwin that—"

  "I don't want to talk about Edwin," Amelia said. She was curt, but Amy took the opportunity to question her anyway.

  "Why? Sorry, Intrusive Big Sister Alert," Amy said. "Why don't you ever want to talk about Edwin?"

  Amelia had done her best to not think about Edwin, which had been incredibly hard over the past few years, because her life is what it is today because of him. The good and some of the bad too. He was a wonderful, passionate man. Amelia cared about him deeply. It didn't matter
that they had only known each other for a short time. She would always hold him in the highest regard because of what he did for Marcus and Max. But she also blamed herself. If not for her, he would still be alive today.

  After he died and she took over the Mr. Z's Toys Spokane location, customers would often ask about Edwin. She tried to put on a brave face, but each question burned her up inside. Her stock answer became, "he was the best," which was only the tip of the iceberg of what she felt for him. She was embarrassed each time she said it. It wasn't nearly enough.

  Pastor John Isakson had been her only real outlet to discuss her fears, regrets and hopes about Edwin. The pastor at her church, St. Marks, tried to help her find peace with what happened. Isakson offered her words of encouragement and scriptures to read, but none of it really helped. Edwin's was a life cut too short and there was nothing she could do about now.

  "Edwin, was the best," Amelia replied and immediately felt guilty for using her default phrase. "But it was so long ago."

  "Well, your experience with men is sorely lacking," Amy said. "And you need to get out there."

  "It's not like I'm a virgin. Ask my kids."

  "That just sounded all kinds of wrong. Don't ever say that again," Amy said. “Yuck.”

  "Oh, don't be dirty."

  "I'm just saying that a woman your age needs to snag a live one before it's too late," Amy lectured.

  "And you're probably going to say something about how there are plenty of fish in the sea, right? Please continue with your fishing metaphor."

  "No, because that would be a lie. There are not plenty of fish in the sea. Ask any woman with a fishing pole. You might get a few bites here and there, but you've got to throw most of them back because they're slimy bottom feeders."

  "You paint a pretty picture."

  "Pretty realistic. I speak from experience. Trust me," Amy said.

  "You've been alone longer than I have," Amelia countered.

  "Yeah, and I'm good with it."

  "Yet you want to give me dating lessons?"

  "Those who cannot do, teach. Sorry little sis."

  * * *

  By noon Amelia started to worry that the boat wasn't going to show up. She called the marina, but got no answer. A recording said they were closed for the holiday weekend. She hoped that didn’t mean they weren't coming. She also needed to learn how to drive the thing. She was worried she wouldn't have enough time to receive the boating lesson she needed before the family had to leave to get a decent spot on the water.

  Her fun surprise was turning into a dud.

  "Where's your brother?" Amelia asked Susanna, who was laying on the floor staring at the exposed beams of the cabin's living room.

  "The people in the green house moved in today and he was helping them unpack."

  "Really?" Amelia said, surprised. Amelia and Susanna moved outside to the far corner of the deck to look up at the green cabin.

  There standing on the deck that fronted the elevated cabin was Marcus talking with a girl in a bikini top and white shorts.

  "No wonder he helped," Amelia said.

  "It's some guy and his daughter," Susanna said.

  Marcus noticed his mom and sister staring at them. He pointed down, obviously telling the girl who they were. Then he waved.

  "Hi, Mom!" he yelled from the deck. "This is Chloe!"

  Marcus and Chloe waved, while Amelia and Susanna waved back.

  "She's pretty," Susanna said.

  "Yes, I'm sure your brother is in heaven."

  The girl was pretty. No doubt.

  "Have you seen the dad, yet?" Amelia asked.

  "Yeah, but he's not there now. Someone came and picked him up right after they pulled in. That's why Marcus was helping unload because Chloe was there alone."

  "That seems odd."

  Susanna shrugged her shoulders. Her interest in the conversation had run its course.

  Just then Amelia heard the distinct rumble of an outboard motor. Pulling into the cove was a faded blue Bayliner piloted by a man in a red baseball cap.

  Finally, Amelia thought, the boat had arrived.

  "Who's that?" Susanna asked.

  "I don't know, but he's driving the little surprise I got us for the weekend."

  "You bought us a boat? Sweet!"

  "Hold your horses, it's just a rental. It's going back on Tuesday."

  "Oh, man! That would have been cool."

  Amelia dashed into the cabin for her sunglasses and hat before walking down the lawn to the beach and dock. The man's back was to her as she traversed the dock. He was securing the boat to a post with a rope.

  "It's about time you showed up," Amelia said, firmly, not altogether hiding her displeasure. "I thought you'd be here in the morning. Let's get the lesson started. I have plans for the afternoon."

  "Lesson?" the man asked, turning around toward her, "I'm not sure what—"

  He stopped talking mid-sentence as he turned, which would seem strange if Amelia hadn't nearly jumped backward into the water when she recognized him, just as he recognized her.

  This wasn't her rental. This wasn't a guy from the marina here to give her a tutorial on the boat either.

  From behind her on the dock, she heard pounding steps. Chloe was jogging down the dock toward them. She arrived at the man's side with a youthful bounce, quickly followed by Marcus.

  "Daddy, I want you to meet my friend, Marcus," Chloe said.

  The man reached out and shook Marcus' hand.

  "And you must be Marcus' mom," Chloe said. "Nice to meet you. This is my father, Nate."

  Nate Rosen, her former boss.

  Amelia didn't say a word, which made the smile on Chloe's pleasant face fade quickly. Marcus looked puzzled too.

  "That's my cabin," Nate said timidly, pointing toward the elevated green cabin.

  Amelia absentmindedly rubbed her face with her hand and glanced around the dock wondering if she rocked it hard enough, could she flip him into the water?

  "Of course it is . . . unbelievable," she said.

  A flood of sour memories, ones she thought were locked away, suddenly washed over her. Her fight-or-flight instinct kicked in. All she could do was turn on her heel and storm off the dock.

  Chapter 4

  Mr. Z's Toys

  Spokane, Washington

  Four Years Earlier

  Amelia was excited this morning. Today she would finally be able to meet with the representatives from Riddell Industries and discuss the future of Mr. Z's as a franchise. For nearly a year, she'd been left alone to run the Spokane store with little contact from the corporate office. She hadn't even met her boss. It had been quite the ordeal learning how to run the small business. Her one month of experience with Edwin was all she had to draw from; no one was more qualified than she in that regard, but that was scary in itself. It had been a bumpy ride to say the least.

  Riddell's infusion of capital for inventory kept the store in the black, but she knew those were inflated numbers even though the store was busy too. The brand recognition of Mr. Z's had grown significantly since Edwin passed. A new stream of curious customers would often visit the store, drawn by the heroic tale of Edwin Klein. They would come in and share their memories of where they were, or who they were with when they first heard of Mr. Z's Toys that fateful Christmas Eve.

  "Grandma had just served her homemade pumpkin pie that night," one customer said.

  "I had just put the kids to bed and was placing gifts under the tree, when I saw the story on the TV," said another.

  Telling these stories made them feel connected to the generous act and Amelia was happy to listen. But as might be expected, the customers also wanted to talk about when they learned of Edwin's passing too.

  "Such a tragic thing to happen to such a good man," one said.

  "Thank heavens he was there to save those boys on that frozen lake," said another.

  Amelia didn’t know if it was purposeful, but very few people ever made the connection t
hat one of "those boys" was her son Marcus or nephew Max. Or how she was involved in Edwin's story at all.

  She would nod and listen to each story, as if it was the first time she had heard such stories from a customer. No one cared much who she was and that was OK. Each day was a challenge and today was no different.

  "Derek!" Amelia called from the backroom. "Did you unlock the door yet?"

  "Shoot. No, I will right now," he shouted back from deep in the store.

  Derek Conway had worked side by side with Amelia since last year. He knew Edwin and his late wife Mary from years back. He showed up at Mr. Z's the first day Amelia opened the store alone. He said he owed the Kleins a debt he could never repay and wanted to help in any way he could. Amelia hired him full time and he'd been a great worker—except for forgetting to open the door most mornings.

  The man from Riddell was supposed to arrive at 10:30 this morning. He was originally scheduled to come in the previous day, but for some reason postponed it until today. She wasn't given a reason. It didn't matter. Amelia could hardly contain herself. She was full of ideas. She had questions, too. Like why the company waited for a year and a half to get her input, even after opening stores in Seattle, Portland and San Francisco. The parent company did it all on its own. The only person she had spoken with from Riddell was the elderly founder of the company, Walt Riddell. But that was just on one visit before Christmas last year and then again in a series of short phone calls.

  Walt was in his 80s and gave rambling advice to Amelia about being herself and finding the heart of her business. He had a wealth of business acumen somewhere inside him, but he didn't share it with her. He was a very nice man and she enjoyed talking with him even if it was just to chat.

  The core business of Riddell Industries was scooping up failing companies and either propping them up through tough times or selling them off bit by bit. They'd been doing it for decades. Thankfully the five-year contract Edwin signed was intended to keep Mr. Z's alive, not tear it apart. She'd hate to have Riddell as an enemy. There were four years left on the contract and Amelia was anxious to get started.